By Alright, y’all. The Witcher Timeline—it ain’t a straight line. Nope. It’s more like one of those tangled fishing lines you find in your basement after a year. Full of knots, weird twists, and the occasional monster nibble.
Geralt of Rivia, the White Wolf, is the guy we all love (or love to grumble about). But following his journey? It’s a wild ride. I mean, sometimes I feel like even Geralt would need a map and a stiff drink to keep track of his own life.
Anyway, lemme walk you through this epic saga. From his humble beginnings to the big showdown with the Wild Hunt. Buckle up.
How Geralt Became the White Wolf (Early 1200s-ish)
Witcher Timeline: Before all the sword-swinging and monster hunting, Geralt was just a kid. A kid handed over to Kaer Morhen, that grim castle where Witchers are made—not born.
The Trial of the Grasses? Yeah, that nasty-ass ritual that turns kids into mutant killing machines. I read once (on page 42 of some dusty book called Mutations & Mishaps—great bedtime reading, btw) that only a few survive it. Geralt? He’s one of the lucky freaks.
His hair turned white from the extra mutagens. Fun fact: Witchers usually keep their hair normal, but Geralt’s glow-up was accidental. Kinda like when you try to bleach your hair and end up looking like a cloud threw up on you.
Early Contracts and Blaviken
So, once Geralt was out in the wild, he started taking contracts. Monsters, bandits, cursed royalty—you name it.
He earned the nickname Butcher of Blaviken after a slightly messy fight. I remember my first attempt at cooking—burnt toast and a smoke alarm fiasco. Geralt’s “messy” was way worse.
By this point in the Witcher Timeline, Geralt’s learning that people aren’t as black and white as monsters. Sometimes humans are scarier.
Yennefer: Love-Hate, Mostly Hate
Oh, Yennefer. The ultimate “it’s complicated” relationship. Geralt meets her hunting a Djinn, and bam—they’re stuck together thanks to some janky wish.
I tried that once with my WiFi router. Spoiler: no magic happened, just a lot of yelling at the screen.
Their relationship? Full of breakups, fights, and occasional makeups. Like a soap opera, but with more magic and less commercial breaks.
Enter Ciri: Destiny’s Wild Card
Now here’s where the Witcher Timeline really spins off the rails.
Geralt invokes the Law of Surprise without fully reading the fine print—classic mistake. Turns out, it means he’s gotta take care of Ciri, a runaway princess with superpowers.
Ciri’s no ordinary kid. She’s basically the chosen one, a target for armies, and a magnet for trouble. Remember when you swore you could keep a houseplant alive? Yeah, now imagine that on a global apocalyptic scale.
War, Politics, and a Lot of Running
Nilfgaard invades. Kingdoms crumble. Geralt gets dragged into a political mess deeper than my aunt’s conspiracy theories at Thanksgiving.
Ciri’s on the run. Geralt’s captured once or twice. Yennefer’s in and out like a weird magic soap opera guest star.
The Witcher Timeline here is a chaos soup. But hey, that’s life, right? One minute you’re slaying a monster, next you’re dodging assassins.
The Books: Where It All Gets Real
Andrzej Sapkowski’s saga? That’s the meat and potatoes.
- Blood of Elves has Ciri training.
- Time of Contempt features a coup and a sorceress’ betrayal.
- Baptism of Fire sees Geralt forming a ragtag crew (think: The Avengers, but grumpier).
- The Tower of the Swallow? A deep dive into Ciri’s mental gymnastics.
- The Lady of the Lake throws in some time travel—wait, did I say time travel? Yep, you read that right.
These books are thick, confusing, and brilliant. Like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube while riding a horse through a swamp.
Wild Hunt: The Big Showdown (1272-ish)
Witcher Timeline: This is where everything blows up.
The Wild Hunt chases Ciri like she owes them money. Geralt is scrambling to find Yennefer, keep Ciri safe, and decide if he should punch a king or two.
Choices matter here—kind of like when I tried online dating. One wrong swipe, and bam, disaster.
What Happens at the End?
You get multiple endings:
- Ciri becomes Empress. Fancy, but kinda distant.
- Ciri turns Witcher. My fave. Finally, the kid learns to sword fight and maybe lives happily ever after.
- Ciri dies. Sad but possible if you mess up.
Geralt either retires with Yennefer or Triss (choose your fighter) or ends up lost in his own mind. Classic Geralt.
Quick Recap of the Witcher Timeline
Here’s a cheat sheet—because who remembers all that?
- Unknown: Geralt’s born and tortured at Kaer Morhen.
- Early 1200s: First contracts and Blaviken mess.
- Mid-1200s: Meets Yennefer, claims Ciri.
- Late 1200s: War, betrayals, chaos.
- 1270: Witcher 1 amnesia.
- 1271: Witcher 2 political mess.
- 1272: Witcher 3 Wild Hunt showdown.
Why This Timeline Matters to Me
Witcher Timeline: I got hooked on the Witcher after binge-watching the show (props to that rainy night when my power flickered). Geralt’s story felt less like a fantasy tale and more like watching a grumpy old dog learn to love again.
The way the timeline twists, jumps, and doubles back? It’s like life, messy and unpredictable.
And hey, if Geralt can keep going despite all the screw-ups, so can I. Mostly.