By Once upon a particularly grim Tuesday in the Black household—somewhere between pure-blood superiority speeches and undercooked beef Wellington—Regulus Black was born. 1961, if you’re into numbers. But this isn’t about birth dates or boring bloodlines. It’s about how a Slytherin golden boy quietly told Voldemort to shove it—and died trying.
Anyway, here’s the kicker… most folks still barely know his name.
The Family That Collects Tapestries (and Probably Hexes IRS Agents)
You think your family reunions are dramatic? Imagine being the baby brother to Sirius Black, aka the family disgrace. Walburga Black once blasted Sirius off the family tree with a spell that probably took less energy than sneezing. No pressure, right?
Regulus Black, on the other hand, was the “good” son.
- Played by the rules.
- Wore his tie straight.
- Didn’t sass back at the dinner table (unlike Sirius who once called their dad a “pure-blood blowhard,” and yeah… it got weird).
12 Grimmauld Place? Cold. Creepy. Smelled like boiled cabbage and ancient secrets. Picture Hogwarts if it had a grudge and an inferiority complex.
Hogwarts: Snake Pit with a Side of Existential Crisis
He got sorted into Slytherin faster than you can say “dark mark,” and no one was surprised.
I mean, Regulus Black practically breathed ambition. He was sharp. Reserved. The kind of kid who’d finish his Potions essay while you’re still wondering if you’ve spelled “wolfsbane” right (is there an ‘e’?).
But something was always…off.
People say he never laughed much. Not the real kind. Not like Sirius, whose cackles echoed through Gryffindor Tower. Regulus just did what he was told. And that? That’s where it started to unravel.
The Moment Things Got… Death Eater-y
So here’s the tea: Regulus Black became a Death Eater at sixteen. SIXTEEN. I was still trying to parallel park and keep succulents alive at that age.
Why’d he join?
- Family pressure? Obvious.
- Peer vibes? 100%.
- Fear? Absolutely. Voldemort wasn’t exactly handing out participation trophies.
Still, something in Regulus didn’t sit right. He followed the Dark Lord, sure—but he didn’t love it. You could see it in the way he avoided eye contact during raids. Or so Kreacher claimed.
That house-elf, by the way? MVP. We’ll come back to him.
The Horcrux Plot Twist That No One Saw Coming
Okay, so Voldemort had this idea: let’s make a bunch of Horcruxes so I can never die. Brilliant, terrifying, and also wildly impractical (seriously, who wants to stash parts of their soul in cursed jewelry?).
He used Kreacher to test one of the Horcrux traps—because why not torture a house-elf?
Regulus Black found out and flipped.
Not like rage-flipped, though. Quiet-flipped. The kind of righteous fury that makes you write a suicide note and swap out cursed lockets like you’re starring in a magical Ocean’s Eleven.
“To the Dark Lord,
I know I will be dead long before you read this…”
Y’all. That’s Shakespeare-level mic-dropping.
Death by Inferi (and Dignity)
Let me paint you a picture: black lake. Bone-cold water. Potion that makes you relive your worst memories. Screaming.
Regulus Black drank it.
He told Kreacher to escape and destroy the locket.
Then the Inferi dragged him under.
No glory. No funeral. Just the sound of a rippling lake and a locket that would one day end up in Umbridge’s grubby little hands (ugh).
Meanwhile, Sirius Was Still Being Dramatic
The brothers didn’t talk after school. Sirius hated the Death Eaters. Regulus joined them.
But funny how their paths both led to rebellion. Sirius chose Gryffindor and motorcycles. Regulus Black chose a quiet death to stop a madman.
They were more alike than they knew.
Except, let’s be real, Sirius probably would’ve made a big show of the whole Horcrux thing—complete with fireworks and an “I Told You So” banner.
Regulus? Just left a note.
How He Accidentally Saved the World (You’re Welcome, Potter)
Fast forward past three failed attempts to destroy the locket and one particularly emo camping trip…
Harry finds the note.
That one, faded scrap of paper? It changed everything.
- Kreacher gets emotional (and starts cooking better).
- Harry learns the Horcruxes are real.
- The mission gains purpose.
Regulus Black, a forgotten name on a dusty tapestry, lit the fuse that blew Voldemort’s soul apart.
Not bad for the “other” Black brother.
Wait, Is This a Redemption Arc or…?
It’s both.
Regulus Black isn’t a hero in the traditional sense. He didn’t storm Hogwarts or duel Voldemort in a blaze of phoenix feathers. He didn’t even tell anyone what he was doing.
But he chose to do the right thing alone.
That’s not just brave. That’s bone-deep bravery.
Real talk: I once cried in a bathroom trying to return a shirt at Target. So yeah—Regulus gets my respect.
Random (But True-ish) Tidbits About Regulus Black
Because every good story needs flavor:
- He once tried to teach Kreacher to juggle enchanted apples. It did not go well.
- The locket he stole? Rumor has it he almost gave it to his cousin Bellatrix out of politeness. Close call.
- As noted on page 42 of The Noble House of Black: Mishaps, Meltdowns & Mothballs (out-of-print, probably cursed), he was allergic to lavender.
And yes, I made that book up. But you believed it for a second, right?
Today’s Mood: “What Would Regulus Do?”
There’s a weirdly specific rosemary bush in the Walmart parking lot near my house. Every time I pass it, I think about Regulus Black.
Why? No clue. Maybe it’s the ghost of my high school plant obsession (RIP, Gary the succulent). Or maybe it’s because Regulus reminds me that quiet choices—small, human, flawed ones—still shape the world.
Tina from across the street swears her basil garden cured her migraines. If she gets a win, so does Regulus.
The End? Not Really.
I mean, yeah—he died.
But Regulus Black lives on in every whispered act of rebellion. Every note scribbled in defiance. Every cursed trinket destroyed by someone no one believed in.
He’s the Slytherin who said “no” to power.
Who said “yes” to conscience.
And who, let’s face it, deserved better merch.